Hiccup Hijinks
by XFangHeartX
Summary: Luffy's got himself a bad case of the hiccups, and nothing he does seems to be working. Maybe Nami can help. Rated T due to Luffy's potty mouth at the beginning


Hiccup Hi-jinks

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><p>One Piece © Oda.<p>

Blizzard © Me.

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><p>Summary- Luffy's got himself a bad case of the hiccups, and nothing he does seems to be working. Maybe Nami can help.<p>

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><p>It was a partly cloudy afternoon today on the <em>Thousand Sunny<em>. Gentle waves lapped against the ship's hull. Seagulls chirped merrily as they glided along the ocean's surface.

The Straw Hats were doing their usual, everyday routines.

Roronoa Zoro was up in the crow's nest, weight-lifting.

"606…607…608…" he counted.

Nami was busy with her maps.

Usopp was telling Chopper and Blizzard one of his tall tales. Chopper beamed with amazement, but Blizzard was mostly asleep.

Sanji was busy washing the dishes after lunch. They had pepperoni-pepper-sausage-and-olive pizza, today.

Nico Robin was tending to her flower garden.

Franky was down below deck, repairing the _Mini Merry II_ after Usopp accidentally caused her steering wheel to fall off.

Brook was at the helm, tuning his violin.

In the men's quarters, Monkey D. Luffy was taking a nap after he ate so much at lunch. He had at least half the pizza!

Suddenly, **HIC!**

Luffy jerked awake with a start.

"What the…?" he muttered questioningly before…

**HIC!**

Luffy covered his mouth, realizing the sound was coming from himself.

**HIC! HIC!**

"Oh- **HIC!**- no," Luffy moaned. "I've got the hic-**HIC!**- cups!"

Luffy got out of bed, hiccupping all the way, but as he climbed down the ladder…

**HIC!** He hiccupped, again, causing him to let go and fall on the floor, right on his butt.

As he rubbed his sore bottom, he began to wonder how he should get rid of his hiccups.

"Maybe I should- **HIC!**- hold my breath- **HIC!**- in and count to 100," he said to himself. He then pinched his nostrils closed so he could only breathe through his mouth.

"1…2…3…4…5…" Luffy counted as he tried to hold in his breath. "6…7…8…9…10…"

Unfortunately, 10 was as far as he could get, for Luffy couldn't hold in his breath, any longer, causing him to fall backwards.

"Damn it!" Luffy cursed, but then he paused.

He didn't hear any sign of hiccups.

"All right!" he cheered. "No more- **HIC!**"

Spoke too soon.

Luffy let out an exasperated sigh before he walked outside.

"Maybe- **HIC!**- Chopper knows what- **HIC!**- to do," he said to himself.

XXX

"And then, using just my bare hands, I wrestled the Sea King down to the ground!" Usopp said, flexing his arm.

"WOW~!" Chopper yelled, beaming.

Blizzard just rolled his eyes.

"Chop- **HIC!**- per!"

Chopper turned back to see Luffy approaching him, still hiccupping.

"What's wrong, Luffy?" asked Chopper.

"I've got the- **HIC!** The- **HIC!** The-" Luffy tried to explain, but his hiccups kept him from getting his words out.

"The hiccups?" Chopper concluded, questioningly.

"Yeah- **HIC!**" Luffy said with another hiccup. "Can you- **HIC!**- help me?"

"Sure," Chopper said. "When I get the hiccups, I just say 'pineapple'."

"Why? **HIC!**" Luffy asked.

"It always works for me," Chopper said. "You try it."

"Pineapple," Luffy said.

A pause came.

No hiccups.

"It worked!" Luffy exclaimed. "I'm not hiccupping any- **HIC!**"

"Uh-oh," Chopper muttered.

"Now what do I- **HIC!**- do?" asked Luffy.

"When I get the hiccups," said Usopp, "I just stick my finger in my mouth, but not all the way so I won't throw up. Try it."

Luffy nodded in understanding before he stuck his finger in his mouth for about 30 seconds before he pulled it out.

"See?" Usopp said. "I knew it would work-"

**HIC!** Luffy hiccupped, again.

"Whoops," Usopp mumbled.

"Thanks for trying to help, Usopp," Luffy said before he turned to leave. "Maybe I should try something else."

Blizzard suddenly barked.

"Blizzard says that when he gets hiccups," Chopper began "Mayor Hillary gives him a mouthful of peanut butter!"

Blizzard licked his lips at the thought. He loved peanut butter.

"Peanut- **HIC!**- butter, huh?" Luffy questioned before he headed to the galley.

XXX

Luffy entered the galley to see Sanji putting the dishes away.

"**HIC!** Hey, Sanji-**HIC!**" Luffy said. "Can I have some- **HIC!**- peanut butter?"

"What?" Sanji yelled, questioningly. "Hell no! You ate just 30 minutes ago! How can you still be hungry?"

"But I- **HIC!**- need it," Luffy said. "I've got the hic-**HIC!** The hic- **HIC!** The hic-**HIC!**"

"The hiccups?" Sanji concluded.

"Yeah," answered Luffy. "I've tried to- **HIC!**- get rid of them, myself- **HIC!**- but my cure didn't work. Chopper said- **HIC!**- to say 'pineapple', but that didn't work, either. Usopp told me- **HIC!** to put my finger in my mouth, but that- **HIC!**- didn't work either, so Blizzard said to- **HIC!**- eat a mouthful of peanut butter."

Sanji shook his head in disbelief. Luffy was so desperate to get rid of his hiccups, that he'd be willing to take advise from his own dog?

"Luffy, why don't you drink a large amount of water, instead?" asked Sanji. "That always works for me. The peanut butter will just make your mouth get stuck."

Sanji got out of a pitcher and filled to the brim with water from the faucet.

"Here you go," Sanji said.

Luffy took the pitcher and began to guzzle it down. He drank so much, his stomach started to swell a little. Once he was finished, Luffy set the pitcher down on the counter and paused for a minute, listening for his hiccups.

"Look at that!" Luffy said. "It worked- **HIC!**"

Once again, Luffy spoke too soon.

These hiccups appeared to be stubborn.

"Sorry, Luffy," said Sanji.

"It's okay- **HIC!**" Luffy said with a hiccup. "Maybe I should try something- **HIC!**- else."

With that being said, Luffy left the galley to find someone else to help him with his hiccups.

XXX

Luffy headed to the helm of the ship, and there, he saw Brook, playing a gentle, soft tune on his violin.

"Hey, Brook-**HIC!**" Luffy called.

Brook turned to see Luffy.

"Ah, Mister Luffy!" Brook said as he set his violin down. "How may I help you?"

"I've got the- **HIC!** The hic- **HIC!** The hic- **HIC!** The-"

"Hiccups?" Brook finished.

"Yeah," Luffy answered. "I've had- **HIC!**- them all day!"

"When I get the hiccups," Brook said, "I stand on my hands and sing a couple of verses of 'Binks's Brew' to myself. Perhaps it'll work for you."

"Thanks- **HIC!**- Brook," Luffy said before he headed to the deck.

XXX

Luffy was now on the deck, standing on his hands. He had to admit, everything looked cool upside-down, and singing Binks's Brew kind of made it better.

**"Gather up all of the crew.**

**Time to ship out Binks's Brew.**

**Sea winds blow,**

**To where, who knows?**

**The waves will be our guide.**

**O'er across the ocean's tide,**

**The sunset is goin' wild.**

**See the sky! The birds singing in circles passing by."**

A pause came.

Luffy didn't hear any sign of his hiccups.

"I did it!" Luffy cheered. "No more hiccups!"

XXX

Luffy walked along the deck, feeling a whole lot better now that his hiccups had seemingly gone away.

As Franky suddenly came out from the hatch, he would soon get the surprise of his life.

"Yo, Straw Hat," Franky called to Luffy. "What's up?"

"Oh, not much," Luffy said. "It's a pretty day, huh? The seagulls are out, no storms, no rough waters, no- **HIC!**"

Luffy suddenly slumped when he felt his hiccups come back.

**HIC! HIC! HIC!**

These things just don't know when to give up!

"I think you got yourself a case of the hiccups, Straw Hat," said Franky.

"I know~!" Luffy whined. "I've had them all- **HIC!**- day, and I've been trying to get rid of them, but they just- **HIC!**- won't leave me alone!"

Franky put his fingers to his chin in thought.

"You know, Straw Hat," the shipwright, "when I get me a case of the hiccups, Tom used to give a big bear hug to get rid of them. Here, let me give you one."

Luffy seemed unsure, at first, but then again, he really wanted to get rid of these hiccups and he'd be willing to try anything. Before he knew what happened, Franky lifted Luffy into his steel arms and brought him into a big, crushing hug.

Lucky for Luffy that he was made of rubber.

As quickly as it came, Franky let Luffy down.

"How do you feel, now?" asked Franky.

Luffy paused for a minute.

**HIC!**

Nope. Still there.

"Oh, please!" Luffy moaned. "Go- **HIC!**- away! I've tried almost everything!"

XXX

Later that day, as the sun was beginning to set, Luffy stood leaning on the starboard-side railing.

**HIC! HIC!**

He still had the hiccups.

He didn't know what else to do with them, anymore. He felt so frustrated right now that all he felt like doing was laying bed in crying.

**HIC! HIC! HIC!**

Luffy hid his face in his hands as hiccups persisted. He didn't even notice that someone was sneaking up behind him.

It was Nami. Everyone had told her about Luffy's hiccup problem, mostly out of annoyance, and she figured that it was up to her to get rid of these bothersome hiccups the only way she knew how.

Once Nami was within about 6 inches behind Luffy, she suddenly jumped at him from behind and began to wiggle her fingers all over his stomach.

Luffy jumped in surprise before he started to burst out in laughter.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed. "STOP IT, NAMI! STOHOHOHOP! PLEASE!"

Nami continued to tickle Luffy up and down on his belly, causing him to roll over as he continued to laugh. Nami then sat on his and held his feet together.

"Now, Robin!" she called.

Robin, who was sitting on the rail of the upper level, crossed her arms. Two more sprouted from Luffy's ankles and pulled his sandals off.

"NO!" Luffy begged. "NOT THERE! I BEG OF YOU!"

Nami began to gently slide her finger along the sole of Luffy's foot, causing him to howl with laughter until he burst into tears.

"OKAY, NAMI! HAHAHAHAHA!" Luffy laughed. "OKAY, OKAHAHAHAY! I GIVE! I GIHIHIHIVE!"

Nami let Luffy back up, and as he began to get over his laughing fit, the first thing that came out of his mouth was, "What was that for, Nami?"

"Sorry, Luffy," Nami apologized, giggling, "but it had to be done!"

Luffy pursed his lips in a pout.

"So," Nami began, "how are your hiccups?"

"Horrible!" Luffy answered. "They've been bothering me all day, and I can't…get…rid of…"

Luffy trailed off in realization.

He no longer had the hiccups!

"They're…they're gone…!" Luffy whispered before he smiled. "THEY'RE GONE! I'M CURED! WHOO-HOO~!"

Nami smiled. She remembered that when she was little and when she had the hiccups, Bellemere would surprise her by tickling her.

"Thanks, Nami!" Luffy said as he pulled her into a hug. "I owe you one!"

"Oh, Miss Nami~! Robin, my dear~! Dinner is served!" Sanji called. "That goes for the rest of you bums, so hurry up!"

Luffy's stomach rumbled, audibly.

"Perfect timing," he said. "Having the hiccups really made me hungry."

With that, Luffy ran to the galley.

"Hey, Sanji! I want meat! Lots of meat!"

Nami watched, smiling as her idiot captain went to enjoy dinner, and was soon joined by Robin, but as the two woman headed to the galley…

**HIC!**

Nami threw her hands to her mouth.

"Oh, no," she muttered to herself.

**HIC!**

Robin chuckled as she pulled the hiccupping navigator into a soft hug and patted her shoulders.

**THE END**


End file.
